The most expensive kebab I ever had.

113897_1_800Okay, so this is the first in a long-promised series of posts regarding the food here in Russia…

…and when I say long-promised I mean long-promised to myself and perhaps my dad. We’re a pair of hungry hungry hippos (although neither of us eats marbles) when it comes to our bellies, so “What’s the food like?” is generally one of the first questions whenever either of us has been anywhere new.

If I promised anything to you (my dear readers) then you’d have given up hope on me long ago, as you would have realised that my ambition exceeds my output by an almost exponential factor… or perhaps it’s more like an inversely proportional relationship? The more I want to get done, the less time each individual ambition can receive, so it is less likely that anything ever gets finished…

Although if you’re reading this then it’s my third blog post in a week, so fingers crossed I can keep up this momentum!

I should also put a disclaimer here that very little of this post is actually about food.
Continue reading

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There are no gangsters in Russia, fact!… or, Friction

thug17A bold statement you may think, but there is a very simple logic which proves this beyond any reasonable doubt. Continue reading

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Going Native… or, Anglichanin in “not dead” shocker!

20110531-091644Nobody is more surprised than me!

Not in general… In general I’m sure there are many people who are more surprised than me.

It would be quite a big claim to suggest that I was the most surprised person in the world. Actually I think it is rather ridiculous to suggest that you are the most anything in the world. There can only be one “most” anything in the world, and to claim that you wholehearted believe that it is you, would seem to me just one step too far into either arrogance or blind naivety!

Having said that, I am clearly the best lover in the world! Continue reading

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Talking Tesco…

Talking of Tesco, that is, not a talking Tesco, which would be one step too far towards a dystopian future I don’t want to end up in (*).

But talking of Tesco, and their insistence on opening stupid little metro or express stores on every street corner, rather than (what they were good at) larger supermarkets, or even hypermarkets (man there are some proper big Gypermarkets here: in Russia ‘H’ often becomes ‘G’ at the start of a word, in case you’ve just joined)… I’m afraid Saint Pete got you beat!

IMG_0620Allow me to introduce the Micro Market!

Awwwwww, isn’t it sweet?

You even get contact numbers for Sabina, Dasha and Nastia (Anastasia), although sadly Vika’s number is obscured in this shot. (and it seems Sabina is available 24 hours… doesn’t the girl ever sleep?) Continue reading

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What says ‘Easter’ more than an Easter bunny surrounded by eggs?

FunnyBunnyCutoutObviously an Easter bunny with two large phalluses… surrounded by eggs.

Or at least that seems to be the case according to the website of supermarket chain Prisma this week. Continue reading

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Some people just can’t Hackett

Whilst in Sochi I decided to do my first bungee jump…

This is a lie. I actually decided not to do the jump because it was a hundred quid and I couldn’t really afford it… I also harboured the romantic notion that if I was going to do a bungee jump then I’d really like to do one with a head dip into water at the bottom… but my friend Lena was doing it so I went along to watch.

Then I saw it! Continue reading

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I’m not entirely convinced that Praying Mantises are actually Praying you know.

Praying-Mantisvertical-Darwin-061210-11938Firstly (as far as I am aware), mantes (you can use both forms, I checked for once) have never developed any method of written communication, so the passing of knowledge between generations must be fairly limited.

In addition their brains can’t be very big, so I’m doubtful of their awareness of any wider world outside of their own existence, ergo they would be blissfully unaware of the essential futility of it all and would never have had the need to develop deity figures with which to give their lives purpose.

I think they probably just get on with it… Continue reading

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