There are no gangsters in Russia, fact!… or, Friction

thug17A bold statement you may think, but there is a very simple logic which proves this beyond any reasonable doubt.

As everybody knows, all proper gangsters keep their money in a roll. (It’s one of the first rules of gangstering. I checked).

But the Rouble notes have a slight sheen to them (like Saint Pete’s pavements at their most wintry dangerous), which means they don’t have enough friction to create a satisfactory roll…

Try Googling “Roubles” and “roll” and you’ll see that all the rolls of Roubles have to be secured with an elastic band, and as everybody also knows, nothing ruins your credibility as a gangster more than elastic bands.

Ergo, there can be no real gangsters in Russia!

Having said that, if I was a gangster I wouldn’t be messing about with a Mickey Mouse currency like the Rouble (do you see what I did there?). I’d deal in Euros or Dollah or something… so you can probably safely ignore everything I’ve said thus far.

Plus, I met a girl who said that all Russians were gangsters (or at least all Russians with money), because they had almost inevitably gotten that money at the expense of others.

She was so upset by the whole unpleasant business that she moved to India to become a yoga instructor.

Now the Rupee, there’s a serious currency. Actually, I’ve got a feeling that Rupee notes are waterproof so they definitely won’t roll… and has anybody heard of an Indian mafia or any corruption in India? It can’t be a coincidence…

About Anglichanin

Anglichanin is a pen name. It is the name I have called my pen. For more useful information please read 'About the Author'.
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