For what you are about to receive…

Oh yes, they have shit TV here too!

Although other than the propaganda news (which the landlady put on when she came round the other day to wait for the new cooker to arrive) I haven’t really sat and watched any, except this… and considering it’s all I’ve seen I kinda feel somehow blessed by luck.

This is weird for so many reasons, not least the fact that I was even watching the Russian version of The Voice (I have in the past genuinely told people that my TV will, for some undivulged reason, not allow reality/talent shows to be watched), not just The Voice, but The Voice… of Children (like a demented Minipops… yeah, because Minipops wasn’t demented enough! Google it if you’re too young/not British enough to remember that particular golden era in broadcasting paedophilia), in a Russian family home with only a 10 year old girl for company (everyone else was napping).

But that’s not why I bring голос дети (Golas Dyeti) to your attention…

By the way, I knew Dyeti meant children, Google-translated Golas as ‘the voice’, but have only now when writing this post (three weeks later) realised that ‘the voice’ is the same ‘The Voice’ that is franchised across the world… D’uh!

This was the first track I saw, and to be honest after this it all paled into insignificance (or perhaps this disturbed my consciousness to such a degree that I would never be the same again?). I hadn’t realised what I was watching, so the fact that the guy who initially starts off on the piano isn’t a child hadn’t concerned me… although now obviously it does. He isn’t right…

Neither are the over enthusiastic kids, trying to make noises which don’t exist in their mother tongue and ending up sounding like holiday resort karaoke… but although it is always funny to laugh at foreigners mangling the English language (and especially Beatles songs), it’s the performances that make this worthy of note/deeply offensive/scary as hell?

…Oh wow, I’ve been writing this having only seen the thing once three weeks ago. I remembered it yesterday and found it on YouTube today (hence I’m posting) but I hadn’t watched it again until just now… My words can’t do it justice. This is primetime TV on the main (state sponsored) TV channel… Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you… Twist and Shout!